Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

So why self-empathy?

Yesterday I wrote the blog Being ill brings back all the demons, one of the comments I received was from Lynn Brice Rosen about Compassion for Self. This got me thinking; having had a career in marine engineering, the tendency was to push and push to get things done in time for the ship to sail.  Some deadlines where extremely tight, once I managed to get off a ship in the lock as it was about to set to sea and another I was stuck on a ship for a few days before they could land me. These instances sort of set your mind.

Get things done on time or else.

Not very Alexandrian!

I never considered myself first, the job came first, if i wore myself out i wasn’t trying hard enough. Alcohol certainly smoothed the edges.


I’m in the photo probably in both, top one in the engine room

and middle row in the centre

HMS Pollington M1173 Ships Company 1981 (1).galley_thumbHMS Pollington

I feel I’ve come along way since my days at sea. I served on ships as well as fixing them for others.

It’s taken me some time to understand that if I don’t look after myself I’m little help to anyone else. It’s the usual thing, knowing, understanding and doing are all miles apart, I’ve known and understood this concept but never done it, that’s until very recently.

I seem to have had different personalities, the knowledgable, the understanding and the accepting, The accepting never got look in, it’s easier to ponder and think than show the real me, nobody will like the real me, I even don’t know who he is, will I like him?

Probably not, I’ve never known him.

That’s where self-empathy helps, it allows the understanding and the knowledgable a chance to listen to the accepting and understand and share his feelings, and possibly give the accepting some space to grow and be an equal partner in my life. When it happened to me a few weeks ago it was utterly overwhelming, my friends really do love and care for me, they don’t play at it! I can be and am very content with myself and can allow compassion for myself and from my compassion I can pass it to others.

Unfortunately this self compassion is new to me and when I caught a cold i reverted to habit as I’ve written in my blog Being ill brings back all the demons. So thank you Lynn Brice Rosen for reminding about compassion for Self.

“And here’s where the Compassion for Self is so needed…. How often our AT awareness can pull us down [!!!] into self-criticism and judgment, when what’s most needed is the awareness & experiencing of both”

Does Compassion for Self = Self Empathy. 

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