It’s been awhile since my last post, Limerick seems such a long time ago, I’ve just completed my first half term of my third year of Alexander Teacher training.
The thinking has been, should I continue with my training? Don’t worry, I’ve made my decision, I’m continuing; if I wasn’t I probably wouldn’t be posting a blog on this page.
It’s taken several weeks, in fact half a term to decide, then finally there was nothing to decide. I was in an impasse with myself, I’m not good enough, I try too hard, my thoughts get in the way, I’ll have to teach real people very soon, I’m not good enough, the endless self-doubt keeps going around and around.
Shall I continue my training or not, I’m too old to train, excuses, excuses, excuses. Then a week or so the self-doubt disappeared (it’s still there in the shadows) and my decision was made.
The answer to my doubt was good old inhibition, stopping and considering what’s on offer and then making a decision and being happy that my decision may be wrong, I can always stop and start in another direction (I was going to get all Alexander speak but I feel it gets formulaic). The 5 point plan seems to always work!
I am good enough, it looks like I’m the last on to realise it.