I must have changed, in the past if I was given bad news I would be annoyed especially if I was to blame.
An interesting sentence, bad news, blame, two things that seem to go together in many aspects of life. I was caught in an interesting state, I knew I was at fault but had to wait until someone told me.
My fault was being to reliant on my habits to float quietly through life. This may be fine for the vast majority of people throughout the world but for a certain type of people that’s Alexander Technique Teachers, there may be others, floating quietly through life just won’t do. In my last blog The perfect student or the Alexander Overcoat I’d discovered just this, discovery is one thing, but unwinding my habits are another. This takes guts and trust that my world won’t just crumble to dust if I let my well established beliefs and habit disappear.
You may be aware that I’ve been training to become an Alexander Technique Teacher, 1600 hours over three years, quite a commitment but seems quite easy, learn some procedures, read some books and do some writing, the usual for a training course. Alexander Technique Teacher Training has all those aspects but includes one other huge aspect, we need to get to know ourselves from the bottom up, this is the honest, truthful, beautiful self. As I mention in my previous blog I got somewhere in discovering myself but got stuck ‘doing the do’ instead of ‘being the be’. This has been a hard lesson to learn but essential for me to move on. Unfortunately my discovery is at the right time for me but not for my Alexander Technique Teacher Training so I’ll have to stay on longer than my expected 1600 hours.
When I was told, I was relieved as I knew I wasn’t ready. It would have been different if I was still wearing my Alexander Overcoat, blame and anger would have been to order of the day.
Acceptance of myself is a powerful tool that the Alexander Technique has given me, this only comes with practice and patience.