Sunday walk again in the forest, I didn’t see anyone, just me and my four dogs, it gave me time to reflect on my week.
This week I visited an Alexander Teacher, it was three years since I last visited and just before I started my Alexander Teacher Training. We discussed various things but what I took away was that as an Alexander Teacher we can only offer an opportunity for freedom, we can’t make anyone do anything, if we try we fail, if we measure we fail, we can only offer an opportunity. For me this goes against my beliefs as I want to help and make better, see an improvement, want them back again so that I can make them even better.
A dichotomy, so if I want to help, I don’t help but I offer an opportunity for freedom and let them take it if they want.
My past blogs have been about stopping and inhibiting but little about what I was stopping. That’s the end-gaining, the bad boy of Alexanders principles, well the bad boy for me. For me end-gaining is everywhere, and sometimes hidden. Wanting to help is end-gaining, worrying what others think is end-gaining, these are more subtle than the need to get things done at any cost sort of end-gaining. These subtle end-gainings, for me, are the difficult ones to recognise as they are well built into my being, so they are very strong, difficult to notice as they are me. I’ve been toiling for sometime to notice these end-gainings. Could it be this toiling thats kept my end-gainings hidden.
All I need to do was to offer myself the opportunity for freedom then I have time for choices, one of the choices could be, do I need to guess what others are thinking at this moment, I guess not, as it will probably be wrong anyway, perhaps a better choice is to give myself the opportunity for freedom to be myself.