The weekend is here, what shall I do?
There’s plenty to do but what do I want to do!
That’s the problem, I don’t know. My wife said; “why are you loitering around in the kitchen – go write a blog.” So here is the blog. Now lets see where this leads?
I’ve decided to write a blog most days of this week, I’ve sort of been successful, well almost. I’ve done this loads of times, dieting, cutting out alcohol and coffee. I last for a few days then back to how I was. Recently somethings have been different, for the past few month I’ve lost the urge to drink alcohol, I do on occasion like when I was in Spain last week, I was enjoying the sun and the beer went well with the sun. Now back home the urge has gone.
I’ve got a few reasons,
- I don’t like feeling drunk
- I don’t like losing my freedom; can’t drive etc
- I don’t like losing my freedom and aliveness; alcohol dulls this
- I don’t like losing myself
In the past I used to like feeling drunk as I could lose myself, my freedom and aliveness and rediscover my drunken freedom and aliveness. My drunken freedom and aliveness was a reflection of myself without my fears and worries however it didn’t last. Years ago when I used to play snooker, I was Ok when I was sober, two pints I was fantastic, three pints started the rapid decline to hopelessness. Being two pints sober was enough to dampen my fears and worries, I had bravado, free from my inhibitions. I guess this is why I drank however I didn’t stop at two, three or four, as I drank more the more my inhibition reduced, however my moral compass reduced even more rapidly.
I initially stopped drinking a couple of years ago, probably teetotal for about a year, now I choose when I drink, just like Spain last week.
This wasn’t easy but I persisted. My tactics were very simple and easy, notice when I fancied a drink or when I met that habitual response for example not wanting a drink and going to a pub then the urge was huge. When I noticed the urge, I told myself not this time. Slowly the urges quietened down, the pub one is still there but manageable.
The reasons I mentioned above are my reasons now, I didn’t have a reason when I started, I’d set myself a challenge.
Of the reasons above it is ‘not losing myself’ that is the strongest, perhaps now that I’m more centred and balanced due to all the Alexander Technique training I’ve done I’m permanently two pints sober. Perhaps I should take up snooker again!
My next habit I’m playing with is drinking coffee, I really enjoy a Latte or an Americano however two or three a day they say isn’t healthy and they do eat into my wallet, it’s surprising how much they cost over a week. I’ve just finished week one with success, the plan is not to drink coffee when I’m at work, so I may relent tomorrow as it is Saturday. Again the same plan, notice the urge for coffee and say not this time. I now drink a lot more water to replace the trips to the coffee shop.
Me saying ‘not this time’ is a shortcut to noticing where I am in time and space and being very present. The urge then disappears as with other egoic thoughts.
If you want to learn how to be two pints sober without drinking a drop, why not contact me and I’ll tell you more.
I’ve decided, continue decluttering is this weekends job.