Tag Archives: Alexander’s Discoveries

Depression hides the years 


Sometimes it is hard to be a man, there is a lot of expectation from others.

  • Your reliable
  • The stalwart of …
  • The bread winner
  • Stoic
  • Trustworthy

All these things and more eventually get men down, they just want to be themselves but don’t know how to be themselves.

From a very early age they have learnt to be men;

  • they don’t cry
  • they are tough
  • nothing hurts them
  • they club together doing manly things

This is what separates men from women!

However all this trying to be something they are not eventually gets to much and something snaps. Then,

  • Divorce
  • Family separation
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Physical Illness because of the above
  • Alienation from the manly clubs

All of a sudden the things that us men have been trying to achieve are now valueless, we are valueless, we are middle-aged with all our dreams broken. In the UK this is the point many men commit suicide; their dreams are shattered and there is nothing to live for.

I’ve survived and I’ve been through all this, it’s not nice but luckily I can’t remember much as depression hides the years.

One of the things that has helped my, especially in the last few years is that I am good enough as I am. A hard thing to grasp when self hatred is everywhere, please believe me, you are good enough. So you are good enough, so you don’t need a try.

I’ve discovered trying is such a no no, We are brought up to try at everything.

  • Trying to be reliable
  • Trying to be a stalwart
  • Trying to be the bread winner
  • Trying to be stoic
  • Trying to be trustworthy.

We can be all these things and more without trying. Life is easier without trying and life is fun, people treat you differently when you don’t try, they can see your authentic self without sifting though all the layers of trying. They smile at you, they are comfortable near your space, life is just happier.

Breaking the myths about men would be great, so men

  • can cry
  • are tough but also tender
  • things do hurt them
  • can club together doing manly and other things
  • can be their authentic selves

Changing the habit of trying is extremely difficult as we are deeply conditioned to try. It takes time but is achievable, I did it so it’s not impossible. Start at the small things, notice something that you do that annoys you, something that won’t change the world but you will be pleased as its one less thing that annoys you.

Notice when it happens and don’t do anything about it, just notice and observe. Notice and observe a few times, you should get better at noticing it and you may notice the urge before you do it. When you notice the urge perhaps sometimes do something different or don’t follow urge by doing it, you have given yourself choices , make the most appropriate one each time, you may want it scratch the itch or not. You now have options.

With practice you should be able to notice more and make more choices in what you want to do. As I wrote this takes time and you may discover that you are the one in control of your own life, you can make your life happy or sad, vengeful or forgiving, You have the choice.

This is my journey, if you want to know my, then please join my mailing list to find out more.

It is not just men who have these problems, women do as well.

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Balanced Consciousness


It’s getting closer to Christmas, this year I’m looking forward to it, I normally want to ignore it, shy away from it. It’s just too commercialised, I still believe it is too commercialised but this year I’m looking forward to it.

The past years I’ve been waiting for resolutions to happen, I’ve been waiting for someone else to make these resolutions happen; things have changed over this year, I’ve changed. I’ve discovered that my resolutions are up to me, if I want them to happen it is solely up to me to discover ways to achieve my resolutions, this stuff has been lingering in my life for far to long.

I’m empowered and I have the authority to make these things happen: pussyfooting around just delays the things and they may never happen, I want these things to happen so I better get on with these things. I know what they are and I guess you have things you want to resolve and aren’t to eager to disclose.

What has changed this year is that I have my authority to do what I want and when, of course things that are within the law.

What has happened is that I have a constant sense of calm and if calm wanders a little I have the tools for my calm to return. I’ve had years of self doubt, not being good enough, being quiet, being in the middle so I don’t get noticed, you get the idea.

I’ve only achieved this by undertaking some very serious and difficult training in learning how to do nothing and to be me.  That is what I understand the Alexander Technique to be; learning how to remove the layers of worry and doubt that I’ve collected offer the years, I’ve been around for plenty of years so I’ve got a lot of worries.

What I mean by ‘to do nothing’ isn’t quite true, I still need to drive, walk, eat, work, sleep, etc, now I do all those things with less effort as I’m more conscious in what i’m doing.

Noticing annoying habits, the big one for me at the moment is getting ready for something, going into that holding position and locking my muscles at the moment they should be free to engage in an activity. Do you ever notice getting ready to catch a ball, your hands involuntary go forward and freeze waiting to receive the ball. I see this and preempting and it probably will increase the likelihood of you not catching the ball or even more seriously hurting yourself, perhaps pulling a muscle.

The simple act of catching a ball can be represented as how you respond to life, if you are tense and worried when responding to a particular situation like one of my resolutions I want to resolve things may not go to well. However if you are calm and conscious then making the decision will come from a point of freedom which will allow  freedom to respond more appropriately to the situation.

For this freedom to happen you need to be in balance, not just with gravity but also balanced consciousness. Being conscious for your surroundings, what is happening within you whilst responding to the situation and steering the situation for your satisfactory conclusion. Perhaps the definition of the Alexander Technique is a method to discover freedom and balance.

I’ve written a lot of words here but words will never beat the experience of what I’m trying to write about, it is amazing that why I keep going on about it; go seek me out or an Alexander Technique Teacher in your locality.

Rediscover your elegance


When I go to London, I sometimes meet a woman sometimes I don’t; Last night I did. She was doing her usual thing being very busy, being very efficient. She always stops what she’s doing and we have a chat and a catch up from last time we met.

This blog is about her.

What I see is a very capable woman however she doesn’t know how capable she is;

  • she tries to hard,
  • she works too hard,
  • she tries to please to hard.

Her trying stops her true potential to shine through, I’m just the same as are many others.

Trying is a vicious circle which is maintained by the doubt of not being good enough, not being good enough make you want to try harder and harder, becoming a slave to your own self doubt.

Once stuck in this circle of trying and doubting it is very hard to see a way out, some may want you to stay in it as become a reliable employee or so they think!

Trying and doubting are exhausting, wouldn’t it be better to be good at what you do without all that effort!

The first thought is to notice your surroundings whilst going about what you are doing, you may have an intention to get somewhere but enjoy the journey. It probably won’t take anymore time and you maybe quicker however you’ll get there happy, contented and more at ease.

Enjoy the space that you are in, we all occupy space as we move around, have a thought about how eligant you are as you move around in your space. However don’t float around in your elegance, you need to use the support from the ground, enjoy the touch of the ground with your feet as you elegantly move in your space.

Now include your surroundings with your elegance, so your space now includes the room you are in, the people, table, chairs, just everything. There is a catch however, if you feel doubt then you are holding on to a thought. Thoughts are like a film reel with on image for each frame. If the projector stops on a frame the projected image will freeze

FORWARD = INTENTION and UP = ATTENTION


I’ve been thinking what all my training has been about, its been about a paradigm shift in thinking and how the show others how to achieve this change in thought.

We normally rely on our habits to conduct our day to day activities, just doing things without much thinking, take driving a car, have you ever been shaken out of you routine when a hazard suddenly appears and you have thoughts of “that appeared from nowhere”.

Why does this happen?

I have an idea why, we reuse old habits over and over again, driving down the same old road every day, its safe and nothing ever happens, so you have time to daydream and reduce your awareness of your journey, then something appears from nowhere, it didn’t, it was there all the time but it wasn’t on your previous journeys. It was your lack of awareness that created the hazard, if you had seen it earlier you could have taken early action around the obstacle instead of turning it into a hazard.

Relying on our old habits we switch between relaxed to startle in a moment. This is our normal thinking paradigm, Our thinking is either on or off,  on the seesaw of life, happy or sad, swinging between the two with no apparent control. Some think alcohol or drugs will help, they do to a point, they mask things but they don’t go away. I’m including the prescribed ones as well. I’ve certainly been on the seesaw of happiness and hatred and alcohol does mask things until the next day.

What I’ve learnt in my training is to slow the seesaw down so that it doesn’t swing too far either way, a lot of the time it works but not always, as they say, ever day is a learning day.

My paradigm shift in my thinking has two aspects, the first one is being content with not knowing what is going to happen, the second is knowing where I am in this moment. This thinking needs to be renewed continually, this needs practice.

Both of these aspects have many layers and they interconnect with each other everywhere, it is too complicated to understand, so lets not, this is the paradigm shift in my thinking, I am me in this time and space.

To make this simple I use thoughts of attention and intention, I have attention of myself in time and space, remembering to renew continually and the intension to move to perform whatever activity I choose.

I see this as FM Alexanders forward and up

FORWARD = INTENTION, UP = ATTENTION

So instead of driving down the road using the same old habits, I enjoy the journey even in traffic jams. You may be thinking about the developed habits in controlling the car, of course I use them, as I use the habits in developed in walking. These habits are all tied up with thoughts of attention and intention at this very moment

 

 

I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing


Now you understand where your sit bones are and also where your head neck joint is, if you  don’t then please read Your boney hollow and Acetabulum is one of those words I just love then you will discover where they are in your body and also what an acetabulum is.

What are your views and beliefs on how breathing happens and how does breathing happen within yourself.

Once I had some really skewed beliefs how I had to breathe, I thought I had to consciously breath when I did any strenuous activity and also I didn’t trust my breathing to happen on its own.

Unfortunately we can learn to control our breathing, this is necessary if you want to hold your breathe when hiding from someone and something or swimming under water. When stress and anxiety becomes a way of life, being conscious of your breathing becomes second nature.

Thoughts of:

  • He going to be angry with me – I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing
  • Thats a steep hill to walk up – I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing
  • I don’t want to face up to something – I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing
  • I need to go shopping – I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing
  • I need to go to work – I’ll hold my breath so I can make sure I’m breathing

The list is endless and you may have other reasons to hold your own breath. This breath holding is the initiation of conscious breathing.

Conscious breathing with anxiety is not a very successful partnership. The anxiety sets your breathing to a quiet mode with minimal diaphragm and rib movement Breathing takes place just at the top of your lungs, you may notice short shallow breathing with some movement of the scapula, the scapula moving forward so the glenohumeral joint rolling forward in space into a shrug.

Conscious breathing with the smallest use of your lungs is not adequate in fact it’s hopeless but that is what may people with anxiety do.

I know I was one of them.

I changed my breathing with help from others and I learnt how my breathing happens and the anatomy involved in breathing. I found the anatomy so important for me as it dismissed the beliefs I had in how I breathed.

Did you know your ribs move up and down hinging about your vertebra and sternum as you breath, this was a shock to me. I thought my ribs were just there to contain my lungs and heart, they didn’t move. Discovering my ribs moved down on an out breathe and up on in breathe was hard discovery to make, first because my ribs moved and secondly the direction of movement was illogical to me and sometimes still is.

The curve of the ribs with their movement changes the volume of air in the lungs. The ribs go down the air is displaced out of the lung, when the ribs go up the volume increases causing a vacuum in the lungs, air is drawn in to the lungs to equalise the vacuum with atmosphere.

There are many muscles that are involved in breathing, if you want to know more then it time for your own research. I might do a later blog about them if you want to wait.

The important thing to know about breathing is that you can just let it happen, when you start interfering with it, you will mess it up. Knowing the physiology and anatomy gave the confidence to leave my breathing alone. I still have certain triggers that bring on an asthma event, instead of jumping to my old trusty inhaler, I use the knowledge of how my breathing happens, notice any rising anxiety, and consciously control the rising anxiety and allow my urge to control my breathing to diminish.

These skills didn’t happen over night, it was may months, in fact a couple of years, so don’t put your inhaler in the bin and do it my way, things my turn nasty for you. Gently, gently is the key.

If you want to know more if got a mailing list where you can receive my blogs via email.

 

 

 

 

Food glorious food


Today I was thinking about writing about tricks and techniques but over breakfast I thought how about writing about eating.

So today I’m going to write about eating, I guess we always at least three times a day what are you aware of what you’re waiting; I know I’m not always aware, if I’m ravenous my food just disappears of the plate and if I do this too often I will need to get a larger longer belt and possibly a new wardrobe to fit my new larger sizes.

Perhaps the more aware of what I’m eating when I’m eating could help, personally I will enjoy my food more and I would get full for quicker with less food.

So a win win situation.

Yesterday I wrote about tricks and techniques so there are tricks and techniques in eating food, firstly sit at a table turn the TV and move your Mobile devices away from the table even better put them in another room. Now before you pick up your knife and fork or maybe your spoon, take time to look at your food enjoy the anticipation of what you are going to eat. Now decide where are you going to start eating your meal. Cut up a bite size, stop and cut it in half now pop that in your mouth take a few moments to enjoy the taste, the temperature and sensation of the food.

Place your cutlery on your plate.

Now chew your food a little longer than you normally do all the time and enjoying the taste, the temperature and the sensation of the food.

Once that mouthful of food has gone, repeat but always remember to put your cutlery back on the plate when you are eating.

This all sounds like the normal stuff for helping you to manage your food intake, they are, these are the tricks to get you to notice what you are up to when you are eating, getting you to notice that there many ways to eat food, I do most of them, but sometimes eating needs to be reset, and these tricks help me to reset my eating habits. These tricks aren’t much about Alexander’s discovery but if you use these tricks with Alexander’s discovery, the tricks work so much better.

Alexander’s discovery is being aware of your head neck back relationship, observing your own freedom and elegance without trying to interfere with your beautiful elegance.

To understand Alexander’s discovery there’s a whole host of tricks and techniques to understand and then let go of. Like yesterdays blog, just like learning to ride a bike, you may have learnt with stabilisers but once learnt you would never use them again.

If you are wondering what these tricks and techniques are, here are some of them;

  • Being aware of your local environment
  • Being aware of yourself in the local environment
    • Being aware of these two at the same time
  • Filling your own space with yourself
  • Being where you are, not drifting off into the future or past
  • Knowing you are safe in this very moment
  • Allowing things to be what they are
  • Not trying to be someone who you are not

A teacher can help with all of these and they have their own tricks and techniques to help you to learn.

  • Transferring their calming presence through touch
  • Inviting you to own your own space though touch and an invitation to move freely
    • Verbal instructions for the above
  • Observation of your habits and behavours and asking non-judgmental questions for you to notice how you move.
  • Inviting you to discover your own freedom and elegance as you learn about your head neck back relationship.

These are just a few of the tricks and techniques, if you want to know more you can always join my mailing list.

Enjoy your eating.

The silt of depression


When I was a child sometimes if I did something a little bit stupid I got the threat of the men in white coats will turn up in their yellow van and take me away, they worked at the lunny bin, a place where all the lunatics where put. Not a nice thought that someone in my family would want to send me there, I know that this was in jest but however these thoughts stick and set a chain of events through out my life.

After all I was only being a young boy doing young boy things; getting muddy, taking things to bits to see how they work, being mischievous and being the real me and being happy in discovering my own world. I would now call it self discovery.

Unfortunately my self discovery didn’t suit everyone and they wanted my self discovery to be controlled hence the threat of men in white coats.

When I was young I was never too sure whether these threats were real as a I remember one of our neighbours being taken away as she had a breakdown and when she returned she was never quite the same again, I was too young to know the whys and wherefores of why she was sent there but could see how she was when she returned.

So the threat to be good was reinforced.

Perhaps threats were the only thing that worked to curb my mischievousness, my self discovery

The various methods people use to control others will have a compounded effect and prevent a person to flourish fully. Today when I was out walking and thinking what to write, men with white coats came to mind as well as meandering streams and water dams.

Meandering streams and rivers will change their route over time and some areas will silt up and oxbow lakes will form, as for man made dams their efficiency will constantly diminish as silt settles this reduces the volume of water behind the dam. The relationship between men in white coats and dams is that the silt is the doubt and worry that slowly reduced our performance to live being our authentic self and enjoying our self discovery.

The introduction of men in white coats may well have been the start of my depression and anxiety, the first part of the silt of depression. There was many more things but without the first grains of silt the other things may not have silted up so easily.

So what can be done about it?

Firstly don’t scare children with idle threats to get them under control.

For yourself, if you are reading this you probably realise that depression and anxiety are common place and you may well be also suffering. I’ve found that things can be done without drugs, my bad days I took St Johns Wart, I guess I wasn’t that bad but then I don’t really know as I’ve never compared notes with anyone else.

The secret I’ve discovered is that if I know where I am in time and space depression and anxiety magically disappears. When I first discovered this it didn’t last long and I couldn’t do it on my own but over time I’m self sufficient in my time and space. I see it as a bubble or circle when I feel safe it can be as big as it wants however when things get tough i need the circle to be as small as possible so that I know exactly where I am in time and space. When I am really in the here and now my depressive and anxious thoughts can’t get to me. These skills are taught in mindfulness but to get the full set of skills Alexanders discovery of the head neck and back relationship in relation to being in the here and now really  clears away the silt of depression.

If you want to know more why not join my mail list  

 

 

 

Fancy a walk in the forest


I’ve been thinking for a while how I can help others with what I’ve learnt from Alexander’s discoveries. The truth is, it is probably everyone in the world, that is a little to big for one person – I’ll be worked off my feet!

So I best refine this down a little, my choices are, a geographical region perhaps near where I live or people who enjoy similar activities to me but are struggling to get about to enjoy it, or it could be both.

I love walking but not so long ago asthma restricted how far I could walk, I’m well now without the use of drugs to support me, it was Alexander’s discoveries that let me be free of my breathing difficulties. I don’t know how far I can walk now but I guess it’ll be exhaustion not asthma that will stop me.

Have I narrowed enough to a community that I can help, I don’t know but it would be fun to work with them. A couple of inside workshops and then out for a walk so that they can discover the discoveries in the safety of a room and then practice out in the wilds. Bring your dogs and have more fun, I’ll even supply the tea and coffee, anyone fancy bringing the biscuits?

I’ve identified a venue, the owners don’t know yet. I’ve got a good idea what I want to say for the workshops, I think dogs will have to stay at home for the first few of workshops  as this will give you time to discover a natural way to breathe, this type of breathing is a benefit to all, so if you just get out of breathe on hills it will as well, or out of breathe when running it will also help.

Now I just need to find people who want to come along.

  • Walking magazines
  • Walking Facebook groups
  • Local walking groups
  • Local advertising
  • Doctor referrals

I assume some of these will be better than others and there’s other things I could focus on, any ideas?

I’ll be taking the plunge soon on a series of workshops, anyone in the Forest of Dean interested? Please let me know.

Happy rambling

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